Pleasing Personality Development -- Tips and Quoes

ON THE DEVELOPMENT OF A PLEASING PERSONALITY

Throughout the course of my business and personal development, I have noticed that a Pleasing Personality is one of the foremost characters determining a person's success. Therefore I have chosen to compile these magical quotes from my (repeated) readings of books such as The 16 Laws of Success, Think and Grow Rich and, of course, Dale Carnegie's How to Make Friends and Influence People. 

Here are the principles expanded on in How to Make Friends and Influence People:

PRINCIPLE 1

Become genuinely interested in other people.

PRINCIPLE 2

Arouse in the other person an eager want.

PRINCIPLE 3

Remember that a person’s name is to that person the

sweetest and most important sound in any language.

PRINCIPLE 4

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about

themselves.

PRINCIPLE 5

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

PRINCIPLE 6

Make the other person feel important-and do it

sincerely.

PRINCIPLE 7

The only way to get the best of an argument is to

avoid it.

PRINCIPLE 8

Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never

say,“You’re wrong.”

PRINCIPLE 9

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

PRINCIPLE 10

Begin in a friendly way.

PRINCIPLE 11

Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

PRINCIPLE 12

Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

PRINCIPLE 13

Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

PRINCIPLE 14

Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

PRINCIPLE 15

Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

PRINCIPLE 16

Appeal to the nobler motives.

PRINCIPLE 17

Dramatize your ideas.

PRINCIPLE 18

Throw down a challenge.

I sincerely hope that you find this information acts as both for inspiration and as an upliftment. Comments sharing how YOU find motivation would also be appreciated. 

Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the

crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost;

drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and

put soul into every handclasp.

Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to

do; and then, without veering off direction, you will move

straight to the goal. Keep your mind on the great and splendid

things you would like to do, and then, as the days go

gliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing

upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment

of your desire. Picture in your mind the able,

earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought you

hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual.

. . . Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude -

the attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer.

To think rightly is to create. All things come through desire

and every sincere prayer is answered. We become like that

on which our hearts are fixed. Carry your chin in and the

crown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis.

Elbert Hubbard

''I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I

can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being,

let me do it now.'

Stephen Grellet

'Every man is my superior, In that, I learn of him''

''I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise''

'Smiles are bringing me dollars, many dollars everyday''

''A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still''

Charles Schwab

''No man who is resolved to make the most of himself has time for high-talk''

Abraham Lincoln

Could my opponents be right? Partly right? Is there truth

or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction one

that will relieve the problem, or will it just relieve any frustration?

Will my reaction drive my opponents further away

or draw them closer to me? Will my reaction elevate the

estimation good people have of me? Will I win or lose?

What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it,

will the disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation

an opportunity for me?

''Be diplomatic, it will help you gain your point''

I judge people by their own principles, not mine 

Martin Luther King

Examples of excellent management:

Making a request to an employee by concentrating on the benefits to them --

John, we have a job that should be completed right away. If it is done now, we won’t be faced with

it later. I am bringing some customers in tomorrow to

show our facilities. I would like to show them the

stockroom, but it is in poor shape. If you could sweep

it out, put the stock in neat piles on the shelves, and

polish the counter, it would make us look efficient and

you will have done your part to provide a good company

image.

On an employee who had made a rather serious error reporting... her manager's reaction:

[Manager] Instead, he thanked me for my work and remarked

that it was not unusual for a person to make an error on

a new project and that he had confidence that the repeat

survey would be accurate and meaningful to the company.

He Assured me, in front of all my colleagues, that

he had faith in me and I knew I had done my best, and

that my lack of experience, not my lack of ability, was

the reason for the failure.

Success Tips:

Remember NAMES through making imagery/oratory associations and then write them down. Ensure that you greet them and use their name whenever appropriate.

Be a master SHOWMAN -- rehearse every gesture and movement carefully.

 Use affirmations before a dealing -- ''I am going to give them the VERY BEST that I can''; ''I love .... (my audience/customers)''

Tactile ways of conversing:

 When uncertain of another person's decisions and you would like to make it clear that you believe that they are not correct, then follow this formula:
1) First of all speak about the not-so-good aspects of yourself in relation to the other person -- in other words, make them feel important
2) Express your concerns. You may also find using Lincoln's “There are some things in regard to which I am not quite satisfied with you.” as a great example of what diplomatic speech is about.


Use open suggestions such as  'I conceive', 'I apprehend' and 'I imagine' rather than 'I think', 'I believe' and 'It is...' 

When asking for something use ''Would you be so kind as to?'' ''Won't you please?''.

During negotiation, remember to think of the other person's point of view and use  ''If I were in this situation, I would feel the same way as you do'' before going back to your request. Also using ''I may not be right, LET'S EXAMINE THE FACTS'' as this shows eagerness to understand the other person's view and helps smooth the conversation.

Dealing with people:

Try your best to greet others with both enthusiasm and animation. If you cannot at first, then at least try it with people with who you has been a long-term contact such as your parents, then relatives, then good friends, then next-to-door neighbor and then peers and so on...

Make the other person satisfied doing the things that you suggest by concentrating on the benefits to them and only speaking of the benefits to them. Ask yourself ''If I were [person] why would I be excited about doing [what you want the person to do]?'' Then enlist creative reasons which will help you to create a quick and positive pitch on what you can say.

Only ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering. If a question has to be asked then try to do it in the sweetest way possible through positive gestures and understanding body  language. Knowing what a person will enjoy answering comes through understanding what interests the other person and trying your best to take an interest in it also. 

Always praise. However, ensure that what you say is honest and specific rather than flattering and general.

Praising even the slightest improvement can positively affirm in the other person's mind that they are making progress and is likely to add significant momentum towards the intended result. Add power to this by being liberal with your encouragement and, if in a public setting -- within group, school or office -- intend to praise them both publicly and in private. Practising this shows your level of trust which would be reflected in improved performance and ambition by the person to whom it is addressed.

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. This will appeal to their nobler nature (or, perhaps, their ego... either way it will give you the results intended). In this way it is likely that they will adjust their moral outlook by emulating the finer personality within them. You can also give them an authority title once improvement is noticeable, which they will attach to, and will keep them in that position.

This method may also be used when dealing with people who are not easy to deal with and do not keep to agreed rules. 'Allow' them to do what they intend to but ensure that if they do go ahead that their pride would not be easy to fix after.

Establish what the other person wants first and clarify why you cannot provide by using  an adaptation of the Socratic method. 
This method works by having them AGREE with you by asking three rhetorical questions pertaining to why what they want you to do is not possible which the only 'answer' to is ''Yes''. Aim to get a minimum of three ''Yes'' answers to secure a good defense position.

I hope that these 'tips' have been helpful. If anything isn't clear, then do drop  a comment and I would be happy to assist. 

Wishing you all the highest success